No problem :)

No; “We can’t want X but be Y” is well-formed, like with any other verbs (eg. “We can’t swim but stay dry.”). It does sound more confusing, but the structure is the same. It means we can’t “want X” and “be Y” at the same time. I hope that explanation makes sense.

We can’t want the Fediverse to get bigger but be scared of normies when it does. I say welcome in! We should be mindful to listen to the new recruits, because their feedback is the most unbiased.