Whoops!

Whoopsie!

/Ryan George.

Sorry guys. We made a mistake! We only meant to suppress things like human rights, democrats, and minorities. We didn’t mean to discriminate against linux. We don’t give a shit about linux. ~ Meta response team.

Considering trumps orange is sprayon…that tracks.

Zuckerburg says “Today I ate a sandwich!”

Nobody cares.

But wait…the full quote was “Today I ate a sandwich…of babys!”

Drugs and sleep have no effect on cyborgs

Me: Reads headline.

Also me: I have no idea what this headline is supposed to be warning me of. Of COARSE you’d get slapped if you went up to someone and flopped out your apples.

I should start a pillow company. I could market them as being great to scream into when life…happens. When you read a headline, scream into a pillow. When a news story breaks, scream into a pillow. When your dog runs away, scream into a pillow. When your kids run away, scream into a pillow. When the government turns into a thinly fascist operation working under the direct leadership of Putin, scream into a pillow. When World War 3 breaks out, and America is the bad guys, scream into a pillow. When Canada and Mexico invade the USA, scream into a pillow. When you realize just how smug of a bastard George Clooney is, scream into a pillow! When you’re happy and you know it clap your hands! silence Ok, just scream into a pillow then.

The sad thing is, I’m now thinking I legit could make some money by releasing “Scream Pillows”. Marketed specifically as stress relief. Because that’s the 2025 we live in.

I don’t know. Haven’t been playing that close enough attention. Wake Me Up When September Ends.

Oh, we raised the prices by $5? We meant to raise it by $10. Tell ya what, we’ll fix the mistake and raise it by $15. Give us your money, you pleb!

Green Day’s When I Come Around starts playing

Vin Diesel: “I got…family”

Wait…are you saying if I go to Japan, and learn the language, they’ll refer to it as Nihon, and think I’m a stupid American for saying Japan instead?

I call it The Gulf of Pennsilvania.

C’mon man. I WISH it was 1995!

I like vanilla ice cream. It’s a great base. Maybe today you throw some butterscotch and peacans on it! But tomorrow it’s caramel and fudge, and the next day it’s chocolate chip cookie dough, and yhe day after that it’s whipped cream and strawberry syrup. And the day after that it’s chocolate sauce with peanuts.

Meanwhile, the guy who got chocolate just ate the same bowl of ice cream for 5 days.

See it’s kind of like sex, too. Some people just do the same thing over and over. But what I do, is I take some handcuffs, and chains, and baby oil, and some… trails off

And that kids, is how I met your Mother!

Me in 2024: “Which one is the main one?”

“There is no main one”

“Which one is the biggest?”

“Lemmy.World”

“Thats the one for me!”

“THATS NOT HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT!!!”

“…but that’s what I did.”

It’s barely news worthy. Small mostly unknown service gains 400,000 new accounts. Ok. 400k.

Instagram apperently has 4 BILLION accounts, with 143 MILLION monthly users.

400K sounds great, until you compare it to the pie. It went from less then 1% to less than 1%.

Growth is great and all, but since it’s January, I’d rather see a retrospective of where they stood on Jan 1st 2024, and where they stood on Jan 1st 2025. With a detailed analysis on all the fluctuations (which at this point I would assume to be nothing but upwards) but also, what caused each event.

But hearing a single month, with an influx of 400k seems like a non-story, and won’t be interesting until Jan 2026 when we get the 2025 retrospective. And we put into context that this was when meta decided to go all political, and ban searches for “democrats”, and the whole drama with tiktok.

THATS what spez looks like??? I was expecting some corporate looking lawyer type face. This is more like that incel who repulsed girls in high school, and is now in his 40s…but still very much the same person.

Such a punchable face.

She thinks that if she just plugs in the plug to charge it, that the people at appleHQ won’t let her phone charge because they don’t like her. So she first turns on airplane mode, so that they have no communication with her phone, and can’t see what she’s doing. THEN she turns OFF the phone, so that her phone won’t know it’s her charging it.

Yes, I realize NONE of that makes sense. At all. That’s kind of my point that she’s not going to be learning anything new about technology. I just nod my head, yes mom, the people at appleHQ can’t see you now…go ahead and charge your phone…

While rolling my eyes internally.

I know people don’t want to hear it but can we expect non-techies to meet techies half way by leveling their tech skill tree?

In order to charge her iphone, my mom first turns on airplane mode, and THEN she powers it down. Turns it off completely. I asked why she does any of that. She says “Because they won’t flip the charge switch for me until they do! I wish I could take the battery out first, and THEN turn off the phone. But I suppose if they can’t see my battery with airplane mode on first, this is just as good.”

And you want this woman to learn terminal?